i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if only i could text you this smell
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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