I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
