xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
