i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sext me about skeletons
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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