He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I touched a dick in church today
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
