Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
