Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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