u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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