yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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