My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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