I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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