Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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