yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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