have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
