these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
