my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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