Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
