Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
