Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize