I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize