So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
