How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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