Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
