now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
