Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
