Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
