He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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