24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize