well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize