put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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