Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
