I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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