He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just found puke in my bra..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
