i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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