OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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