I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
