do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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