If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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