Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
