wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so much tequila, so little girl.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
