She said her name was "party"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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