just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
