I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
