You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You need Xanax blowdarts
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