The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize