Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
