I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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