Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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