I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
