is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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