You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
