I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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