I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
