So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
