I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
