Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
