Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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