Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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