He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
