Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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