Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
