he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
